1 00:00:06,160 --> 00:00:09,920 Keep in the heart of Nottingham Castle a sound. 2 00:00:10,240 --> 00:00:11,340 Street sound. 3 00:00:11,720 --> 00:00:16,079 Though the guards are asleep, the prisoners keep up the sound. 4 00:00:16,400 --> 00:00:17,540 Street sound. 5 00:00:17,980 --> 00:00:22,100 They awake from their bed, shake the sleep from their heads like that. 6 00:00:22,320 --> 00:00:27,140 From hell they run to the cell, for the noises they hear are the noises they 7 00:00:27,140 --> 00:00:31,480 fear. And they're running and running, because the laughter is coming from King 8 00:00:31,480 --> 00:00:34,700 John and the sheriff of Nazca. 9 00:00:39,760 --> 00:00:40,960 It's not funny! 10 00:00:41,200 --> 00:00:42,640 It's not funny at all! 11 00:00:43,120 --> 00:00:49,320 Who did this to me? Who could it be? Whoever would dare to string up this 12 00:00:49,520 --> 00:00:50,880 I can't understand you! 13 00:00:53,070 --> 00:00:57,490 Who strung them up? Who left them to rot like a pair of dead ducks in this 14 00:00:57,490 --> 00:00:58,490 horrible spot? 15 00:00:58,790 --> 00:01:00,070 I think he means me. 16 00:01:00,310 --> 00:01:01,590 Who could it be? 17 00:01:01,890 --> 00:01:03,190 Yes, it's definitely me. 18 00:01:03,590 --> 00:01:06,310 Who could it be? Oh, my merry medical. 19 00:01:34,510 --> 00:01:38,010 Now try again, and this time make it blood -curdling. 20 00:01:38,830 --> 00:01:39,830 Hooray! 21 00:01:40,210 --> 00:01:43,710 I think it would sound better if we all faced the front, don't you, little one? 22 00:01:44,210 --> 00:01:45,810 And where are we going, Robin? 23 00:01:46,350 --> 00:01:48,930 That was too, you know, scary. 24 00:01:49,790 --> 00:01:50,790 Too scary? 25 00:01:51,150 --> 00:01:52,150 Wait, you three. 26 00:01:52,910 --> 00:01:57,310 Any minute now, King John and the Sheriff of Nottingham will escape from 27 00:01:57,310 --> 00:01:59,890 cell. And you know what'll happen then, don't you? 28 00:02:04,460 --> 00:02:08,979 extremely sharp swords in order to give a man called Robin an extremely close 29 00:02:08,979 --> 00:02:13,400 haircut. And if you're not fit and if you're not able to fight for your life, 30 00:02:13,520 --> 00:02:15,240 you'll end up as dead as this tree. 31 00:02:15,740 --> 00:02:16,960 That tree's alive. 32 00:02:17,580 --> 00:02:18,720 That's not the point. 33 00:02:19,760 --> 00:02:21,280 Little Ron, what are you doing? 34 00:02:21,560 --> 00:02:22,560 Crying. 35 00:02:22,860 --> 00:02:23,860 Very good. 36 00:02:24,420 --> 00:02:28,500 Nice to see that some of us have got more important things to do than 37 00:02:28,500 --> 00:02:31,960 about what the best -dressed freedom fighter's wearing in the discotheque 38 00:02:31,960 --> 00:02:33,600 autumn, isn't it, Robin? Hurry up! 39 00:02:51,000 --> 00:02:52,900 Well done, little Ron. 40 00:02:53,400 --> 00:02:55,080 Right, Woodcraft. 41 00:02:57,100 --> 00:02:59,620 Ladies, climb this rope, please. 42 00:03:00,120 --> 00:03:05,440 Now listen, all of you. If we're going to avoid the sheriff and his men, we 43 00:03:05,440 --> 00:03:06,960 learn the ways of the forest. 44 00:03:07,340 --> 00:03:09,760 We must learn from the gentle deer. 45 00:03:10,400 --> 00:03:11,400 Sorry. 46 00:03:11,760 --> 00:03:16,780 We must move through the forest quickly and quietly, sensitive to any sound. 47 00:03:38,299 --> 00:03:41,940 What was that? 48 00:03:42,620 --> 00:03:46,820 I tripped over my sword. The point got stuck in my tights. Shh, shh, shh. Oh, 49 00:03:46,840 --> 00:03:48,580 no. I've laddered them. 50 00:03:48,880 --> 00:03:52,280 That tree looks like the sort of thing a bandit would hide behind. 51 00:03:52,860 --> 00:03:54,320 We'll creep up on it. 52 00:03:54,540 --> 00:03:56,440 But we've been creeping up on trees all afternoon. 53 00:03:56,780 --> 00:03:57,659 And bushes. 54 00:03:57,660 --> 00:03:58,780 And shrubs. 55 00:03:59,020 --> 00:04:03,260 And hedgehogs. I promised my mum I'd be home by tea time. And she won't start 56 00:04:03,260 --> 00:04:06,840 without me. And I fear, Gary, that your mother is going to be a very hungry 57 00:04:06,840 --> 00:04:09,040 woman. Wait a minute. 58 00:04:09,400 --> 00:04:11,300 What is that? 59 00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:13,000 Your finger. 60 00:04:13,630 --> 00:04:17,430 Yes, Graham, thank you very much. It is my finger. And what is that at the end 61 00:04:17,430 --> 00:04:18,069 of it? 62 00:04:18,070 --> 00:04:19,070 Your fingernail. 63 00:04:19,550 --> 00:04:23,470 Thank you, Gary. Now, if we could leave anatomy for the moment and move on to 64 00:04:23,470 --> 00:04:27,470 nature study, you will see that at the end of my fingernail there is a sapling. 65 00:04:28,070 --> 00:04:30,690 And what is that hanging from it? 66 00:04:30,970 --> 00:04:34,690 Er, a broken twig. Correct. And what does a broken twig tell you? That the 67 00:04:34,690 --> 00:04:35,690 sapling has hurt itself. 68 00:04:35,830 --> 00:04:36,669 Oh, no, Gary. 69 00:04:36,670 --> 00:04:38,190 The sapling has not hurt itself. 70 00:04:38,750 --> 00:04:42,850 Someone has hurt the sapling, just like I'm going to hurt you in a minute. Very 71 00:04:42,850 --> 00:04:48,050 recently, someone has walked past here, they've brushed past the sapling, and 72 00:04:48,050 --> 00:04:50,090 they've left a clue for us to follow. 73 00:04:51,070 --> 00:04:55,450 In other words, Robin Hood has been this way. Come on. 74 00:04:58,050 --> 00:04:59,870 Never mind. You'll be better soon. 75 00:05:00,490 --> 00:05:02,490 And finally, the bow and arrow. 76 00:05:02,710 --> 00:05:06,370 Now, you may find this incredibly hard to believe, but... 77 00:05:06,730 --> 00:05:10,890 Experienced archer can split a tiny stick like this with one single arrow. 78 00:05:11,130 --> 00:05:12,130 I can do that. 79 00:05:12,570 --> 00:05:14,350 Can you? Yeah, look. 80 00:05:22,570 --> 00:05:27,850 Well, thank you for the demonstration, Farrington, but actually what I had in 81 00:05:27,850 --> 00:05:29,810 mind was firing from over there. 82 00:05:32,470 --> 00:05:35,750 Robin? Uh, no way. Sorry, can't. 83 00:05:36,300 --> 00:05:37,300 Can't, Robin. 84 00:05:37,640 --> 00:05:40,320 There's no such word as can't, is there? 85 00:05:40,540 --> 00:05:41,540 You're serious? 86 00:05:41,920 --> 00:05:47,900 Now, pull back the bow, keeping the elbows and wrists parallel to the 87 00:05:47,980 --> 00:05:48,939 Have you got that? 88 00:05:48,940 --> 00:05:53,660 Yes. Check that the thumb holding the bowstring is adjacent to the right ear. 89 00:05:54,180 --> 00:05:58,900 Yes. And that the flight of the arrow is nestling comfortably in the right palm. 90 00:06:00,560 --> 00:06:01,560 It's gone. 91 00:06:01,760 --> 00:06:02,820 My arrow's disappeared. 92 00:06:03,660 --> 00:06:07,220 One minute it was here and the next it had completely vanished. It's absolutely 93 00:06:07,220 --> 00:06:08,220 amazing. 94 00:06:12,500 --> 00:06:14,160 What was that? 95 00:06:14,440 --> 00:06:15,460 A very noisy squirrel? 96 00:06:15,700 --> 00:06:18,080 No, it was not a very noisy squirrel. 97 00:06:18,360 --> 00:06:22,680 It was the cry of a human being who's just received a serious injury. 98 00:06:23,020 --> 00:06:25,000 No! How did that happen? 99 00:06:25,220 --> 00:06:26,940 Your arrow stuck into him. 100 00:06:27,500 --> 00:06:31,460 If you fire arrows into the air, they do tend to stick into people. 101 00:06:31,760 --> 00:06:32,860 How awful! 102 00:06:33,610 --> 00:06:35,870 I'd better go and say something, hadn't I? Yes. 103 00:06:37,050 --> 00:06:39,250 Let's just hope he's not too badly hurt. 104 00:06:40,490 --> 00:06:41,490 I'm dying, Graham. 105 00:06:42,270 --> 00:06:44,210 Graham, take my hand. 106 00:06:45,410 --> 00:06:47,450 Before I go, tell me the truth. 107 00:06:48,890 --> 00:06:50,790 I was a good master, wasn't I? 108 00:06:51,050 --> 00:06:58,030 Well, not really, sir. Well, not a good master, perhaps, but I was fair, 109 00:06:58,210 --> 00:06:59,189 wasn't I? 110 00:06:59,190 --> 00:07:03,430 Well... Actually, no, sir. I was only saying to Gary yesterday how completely 111 00:07:03,430 --> 00:07:05,670 unfair you are to... Yes, yes, all right. 112 00:07:05,910 --> 00:07:09,950 And bossy. Oh, thank you, thank you very much. I'm at death's door, you know. 113 00:07:09,990 --> 00:07:13,870 I'm about 30 seconds away from a pair of wings and a flipping great gold harp. 114 00:07:13,990 --> 00:07:17,550 And what do you do? Do you ease my way through the pearly gates with a few well 115 00:07:17,550 --> 00:07:21,470 -chosen, if slightly inaccurate, words of appreciation? No, you tell me I'm the 116 00:07:21,470 --> 00:07:27,070 worst, the most disgusting, most absolutely... Wait a minute. 117 00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:29,120 I'm standing up, aren't I? 118 00:07:31,220 --> 00:07:32,240 I'm moving around! 119 00:07:32,620 --> 00:07:33,620 I'm alive! 120 00:07:35,220 --> 00:07:36,220 Hang on. 121 00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:39,000 Where's the arrow? 122 00:07:39,120 --> 00:07:40,200 It's over here, sire. 123 00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:43,420 Who did that? Come on! 124 00:07:43,640 --> 00:07:48,780 Who was it? Look, when a perfectly innocent passer -by is walking through 125 00:07:48,780 --> 00:07:51,240 woods, he does not expect some oath! 126 00:07:52,100 --> 00:07:57,800 Some stupid, stupid little boy to act oh so clever with his stupid friends by 127 00:07:57,800 --> 00:08:02,360 showing off with a bow and arrow. Because let me tell you, that hat is 128 00:08:02,360 --> 00:08:03,360 special to me. 129 00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:07,200 Because it was given to me by a very special person. 130 00:08:07,480 --> 00:08:09,600 My Auntie Marjorie. 131 00:08:10,900 --> 00:08:17,680 Now, if the boy who did this has got any guts at all, I want him to own up right 132 00:08:17,680 --> 00:08:18,680 now. 133 00:08:19,360 --> 00:08:20,480 Because if he doesn't... 134 00:08:20,880 --> 00:08:26,080 then everyone in this entire forest is going to have to stay behind until he 135 00:08:26,080 --> 00:08:27,080 does. 136 00:08:28,620 --> 00:08:29,539 Sorry, sir. 137 00:08:29,540 --> 00:08:30,540 It was me, sir. 138 00:08:30,860 --> 00:08:32,220 Can I have my arrow back, please? 139 00:08:32,480 --> 00:08:33,480 Come here. 140 00:08:37,299 --> 00:08:38,299 Bend over. 141 00:08:39,840 --> 00:08:41,600 Right. Cut his head off. 142 00:08:42,080 --> 00:08:43,080 What? 143 00:08:43,220 --> 00:08:44,460 Cut his head off. 144 00:08:44,680 --> 00:08:45,680 But I haven't got any scissors. 145 00:08:45,980 --> 00:08:47,300 Use your sword. 146 00:08:47,720 --> 00:08:48,720 Oh. 147 00:08:53,100 --> 00:08:56,900 Go away, please, little girl. This is for over -18s only. I said wait! 148 00:08:57,380 --> 00:08:58,380 Now, listen. 149 00:08:58,480 --> 00:09:03,020 In a moment, I'm going to get cross, and when I get cross, I can be pretty ugly. 150 00:09:03,420 --> 00:09:05,000 Save your words, Sheriff. 151 00:09:05,220 --> 00:09:06,220 You're surrounded. 152 00:09:10,300 --> 00:09:15,140 One word from me and my highly trained team of commandos... Face the front, 153 00:09:15,200 --> 00:09:19,940 please, little Ron. ...will bury two foot of very sharp wood into your rather 154 00:09:19,940 --> 00:09:21,360 scrawny body. 155 00:09:21,600 --> 00:09:24,300 Yeah. And fire arrows at you. 156 00:09:24,520 --> 00:09:29,120 Ha! You think I'm frightened of that pathetic lot? Look at this. Your 157 00:09:29,120 --> 00:09:32,980 shooting. My pet gerbils are better shot than you lot. 158 00:09:33,560 --> 00:09:35,040 Guards, hack him to pieces. 159 00:09:35,780 --> 00:09:38,380 He did it on purpose. What? 160 00:09:38,640 --> 00:09:39,639 That shot. 161 00:09:39,640 --> 00:09:41,120 He did it on purpose. 162 00:09:41,380 --> 00:09:45,780 It was a warning to make you frightened of us so you'd give us all your money so 163 00:09:45,780 --> 00:09:46,940 we could buy stuff. 164 00:09:47,580 --> 00:09:51,400 Rubbish. He couldn't hit a rhinoceros at two paces. No. 165 00:09:52,339 --> 00:09:54,840 He's a brilliant shot, aren't you, Robin? 166 00:09:55,120 --> 00:09:58,820 Well, I'm not sure, really. I just lined my ear up with my thumb on the back of 167 00:09:58,820 --> 00:10:00,940 my elbow like this when... Wait a minute. 168 00:10:01,840 --> 00:10:02,840 Did you say Robin? 169 00:10:03,040 --> 00:10:06,100 Yes, and I had to make sure it was in my hand, so I opened my hand to have a 170 00:10:06,100 --> 00:10:09,140 look. You're him, aren't you? You're the one who broke into the castle. Yes, but 171 00:10:09,140 --> 00:10:11,500 I didn't mean to call... You broke down the cell door. Yes, but I paid for it. 172 00:10:11,500 --> 00:10:16,400 And you hung us up and tortured us with feathers. Well... You're Robin Hood. 173 00:10:17,000 --> 00:10:18,000 Robin Hood? 174 00:10:18,080 --> 00:10:19,080 Robin Hood. 175 00:10:19,610 --> 00:10:23,370 Well, my name is Robin, but my surname's... Have mercy, please, I beg 176 00:10:23,370 --> 00:10:26,870 all my money. Well, stupidly, I hadn't actually brought my wallet with me, but 177 00:10:26,870 --> 00:10:27,870 take all their money. 178 00:10:27,970 --> 00:10:28,889 I haven't got any. 179 00:10:28,890 --> 00:10:30,030 Get your purse out. 180 00:10:30,230 --> 00:10:32,170 There's nothing in it. Open it up. 181 00:10:35,650 --> 00:10:38,030 It's stuck together with that really strong glue. 182 00:10:38,450 --> 00:10:39,890 I said open it up. 183 00:10:41,090 --> 00:10:42,090 What's in it? 184 00:10:42,230 --> 00:10:43,230 Nothing. 185 00:10:44,010 --> 00:10:47,110 Oh, except my sausage dog. 186 00:10:47,510 --> 00:10:48,509 It's a little... 187 00:10:48,510 --> 00:10:52,430 Lucky Phil, the sausage dog, called Herman, and he bounces up and down on an 188 00:10:52,430 --> 00:10:53,430 elastic band. 189 00:10:53,450 --> 00:10:54,610 Oh, let's see. 190 00:10:55,110 --> 00:10:56,110 Hand it over. 191 00:10:56,390 --> 00:10:57,770 Can I hand over the purse, too? 192 00:10:57,970 --> 00:11:01,510 Why? Because it's Herman's little house, and he'll be colded out his little 193 00:11:01,510 --> 00:11:04,950 house. You can hand over his garage and his back garden if you like. Just hurry. 194 00:11:08,610 --> 00:11:09,610 Well... 195 00:11:09,819 --> 00:11:13,880 Sorry to have taken up so much of your time. Very nice to have met you, and 196 00:11:13,880 --> 00:11:17,620 thanks for the demonstration of sharpshooting. It was very impressive. 197 00:11:18,560 --> 00:11:19,560 Bye -bye. 198 00:11:23,120 --> 00:11:24,120 He's right, you know. 199 00:11:24,540 --> 00:11:26,560 It was a pretty impressive piece of shooting. 200 00:11:28,440 --> 00:11:29,440 Bye, Herman. 201 00:11:30,680 --> 00:11:34,480 Oh, it's all right. You keep him. He'll only pine without you. 202 00:11:36,560 --> 00:11:37,560 Thanks. 203 00:11:39,850 --> 00:11:42,470 That was our first loot, and you've just given it back. 204 00:11:42,770 --> 00:11:44,530 What sort of merry man are you? 205 00:11:44,890 --> 00:11:45,869 A kind one. 206 00:11:45,870 --> 00:11:49,530 The turret ran back to the castle, but what was he going to say? 207 00:11:49,990 --> 00:11:52,010 He should have captured Robin Hood. 208 00:11:52,250 --> 00:11:53,530 Instead, he'd run away. 209 00:11:55,090 --> 00:12:00,390 And there were 25 of them, probably more like 30, and we were wading into them, 210 00:12:00,410 --> 00:12:04,010 and there were bits of them flying to left and to right, and I got this really 211 00:12:04,010 --> 00:12:06,470 massive one in this agonising headlock. 212 00:12:06,860 --> 00:12:10,720 King John grew dark and broody as he listened to the sheriff's lies. 213 00:12:11,000 --> 00:12:14,820 He had to catch this Robin Hood and cut him down to size. 214 00:12:15,580 --> 00:12:19,700 Then Robin Flippin' Hood appeared out of nowhere, let's fire this absolutely 215 00:12:19,700 --> 00:12:23,220 deadly volley of arrows, and pew, pew, pew, pinned me to a tree. 216 00:12:23,720 --> 00:12:27,060 I tore the tree up by roots, of course, and tried to carry on, but it was no 217 00:12:27,060 --> 00:12:31,480 use. Then in a flash, King John devised a plan supremely good. 218 00:12:31,840 --> 00:12:35,540 He'd have some entertainment, and he'd finish Robin Hood. 219 00:12:36,570 --> 00:12:37,850 Stop blathering, idiot. 220 00:12:38,470 --> 00:12:39,990 You've got a job to do. 221 00:12:40,250 --> 00:12:45,750 I want 3 ,000 posters handwritten. And I want them by first thing on St. 222 00:12:45,950 --> 00:12:46,950 Elvis' day. 223 00:12:47,410 --> 00:12:49,530 That's more a... That's right. 224 00:12:49,790 --> 00:12:53,950 To get the ink, the parchment, and the very last feather. 225 00:12:54,190 --> 00:12:55,750 And start writing! 226 00:13:13,040 --> 00:13:16,500 King John and the Sheriff of Nottingham are pleased to announce the World 227 00:13:16,500 --> 00:13:17,520 Archery Championships. 228 00:13:17,920 --> 00:13:19,340 First round, first leg. 229 00:13:19,760 --> 00:13:23,580 Prize, a solid silver arrow in attractive mahogany veneer setting. 230 00:13:24,040 --> 00:13:30,060 Place, the village of Worksop. Day, St. Elizabeth's Day, 1195 A .D. Open to all. 231 00:13:30,420 --> 00:13:31,420 P .S. 232 00:13:31,680 --> 00:13:34,360 Robin Hood won't turn up, he's rubbish. 233 00:13:35,360 --> 00:13:38,020 He means me, doesn't he? He's talking about me. 234 00:13:38,280 --> 00:13:42,200 Yep. He thinks I'm not going to go. Yep. But he's jolly well wrong, isn't he? 235 00:13:42,320 --> 00:13:45,950 Nope. I jolly well am. I'm the most brilliant archer in the world. I'll win 236 00:13:45,950 --> 00:13:47,950 easily. Look what I did to the sheriff's hat. 237 00:13:48,210 --> 00:13:49,390 Robin, it's a trap. 238 00:13:49,630 --> 00:13:52,190 Even an idiot can see that. Can't they, rabies? 239 00:13:52,490 --> 00:13:53,490 Can they? 240 00:13:54,050 --> 00:13:57,770 The moment you turn up, the sheriff will recognise you. And once you're 241 00:13:57,770 --> 00:14:01,430 recognised, you'll be hung from the nearest thing they hang people from. 242 00:14:01,690 --> 00:14:04,790 But I've always wanted a silver arrow in attractive mahogany veneer setting. 243 00:14:05,210 --> 00:14:06,690 It'd look lovely on my coffee table. 244 00:14:06,970 --> 00:14:07,970 You're not going. 245 00:14:08,750 --> 00:14:11,110 Wait a minute. Who's the leader of this gang? 246 00:14:12,840 --> 00:14:14,520 telling you you're not going. 247 00:14:14,720 --> 00:14:16,680 Understand? Of course. 248 00:14:18,020 --> 00:14:23,860 We wouldn't want the great Robin Hood to be, you know, recognised, would we? 249 00:14:26,940 --> 00:14:33,160 And I'd also like to say a big thank you to the sponsors of today's event, 250 00:14:33,300 --> 00:14:38,200 Perkin Warbecks, makers of high -class torture equipment, to the Royal Family, 251 00:14:38,360 --> 00:14:40,800 who donated this marvellous... 252 00:14:41,020 --> 00:14:42,140 Marvellous prize. 253 00:14:42,640 --> 00:14:49,440 And finally, many thanks to you, my dear subjects, for having 254 00:14:49,440 --> 00:14:53,420 travelled the length and breadth of England to witness today's exciting 255 00:14:53,420 --> 00:14:56,720 competition in this sunshine paradise. 256 00:14:57,220 --> 00:14:58,380 Thank you. 257 00:15:03,720 --> 00:15:07,240 The king will now meet the competitors. 258 00:15:08,330 --> 00:15:10,670 No, he's not coming, sire. Nonsense. He's here already. 259 00:15:10,890 --> 00:15:12,170 I can almost smell him. 260 00:15:12,470 --> 00:15:15,190 So they are, sire. So they are. So they are. 261 00:15:15,470 --> 00:15:16,470 Name? 262 00:15:16,730 --> 00:15:19,290 Teasel, sire. Where do you come from, Teasel? 263 00:15:19,670 --> 00:15:20,810 Epping Forest, sire. 264 00:15:21,610 --> 00:15:23,170 Good luck, Teasel. 265 00:15:23,770 --> 00:15:27,070 Name? Clough, sire. Where do you come from, Clough? 266 00:15:27,350 --> 00:15:30,370 Nottingham Forest, sire. Well, good luck, Clough. 267 00:15:30,770 --> 00:15:32,730 He's here somewhere. I know it. 268 00:15:33,160 --> 00:15:36,360 You know, no doubt brilliantly disguised in order to fool us, but one of these 269 00:15:36,360 --> 00:15:38,020 archers is Robin Hood. 270 00:15:38,740 --> 00:15:42,100 Name? Robin, sire. And where do you come from, Robin? 271 00:15:42,360 --> 00:15:43,380 Sherwood Forest, sire. 272 00:15:44,100 --> 00:15:45,100 Ah. 273 00:15:45,560 --> 00:15:47,020 Ah, well, good luck, Robin. 274 00:15:49,680 --> 00:15:50,800 Wait a minute! 275 00:15:51,120 --> 00:15:53,540 Did you say your name was Robin? 276 00:15:54,020 --> 00:15:55,340 Oh, no, sire. 277 00:15:55,740 --> 00:16:00,080 Robert. Definitely Robert. Robert, the incredible chicken, sire. 278 00:16:02,700 --> 00:16:06,500 He's here somewhere, I know it. And when I find him, I'll kill him. 279 00:16:07,040 --> 00:16:11,120 When I find him, I'll kill him. Leave him off like that when the rest of us 280 00:16:11,120 --> 00:16:12,840 doing the washing up. What a tone. 281 00:16:13,120 --> 00:16:14,520 Little one, search that hut. 282 00:16:14,960 --> 00:16:17,660 It's not even as though he's any good as a bow and arrow, is it? 283 00:16:17,900 --> 00:16:19,960 He couldn't hit an elephant in a barrel. 284 00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:21,859 No one there? 285 00:16:21,860 --> 00:16:22,860 OK, try that one. 286 00:16:23,080 --> 00:16:27,180 For now, we've got to reach our next, rescuing him. And it's perfectly obvious 287 00:16:27,180 --> 00:16:28,440 we're falling into a trap. 288 00:16:29,440 --> 00:16:30,440 No one. 289 00:16:30,580 --> 00:16:33,690 Right, try and do... You mark my rules. 290 00:16:33,930 --> 00:16:37,530 There'll be soldiers hidden all round this village just waiting for the 291 00:16:39,210 --> 00:16:40,210 OK. 292 00:16:41,090 --> 00:16:43,490 Ladies, try that one. 293 00:16:47,730 --> 00:16:50,270 Look! Norman's behind that car. 294 00:16:50,550 --> 00:16:51,710 He's not here. 295 00:16:52,410 --> 00:16:54,090 Well, where on earth is he? 296 00:16:54,470 --> 00:16:59,690 So now it gives me great pleasure to declare the competition over. 297 00:17:06,280 --> 00:17:11,839 And on the hockey, we have our first competitor, the crafty cockney, Eric the 298 00:17:11,839 --> 00:17:14,339 Newt Teasel from Epping Forest. 299 00:17:14,640 --> 00:17:19,260 And remember, the competitor with the highest score in three darts wins our 300 00:17:19,260 --> 00:17:21,240 magnificent silver arrow. 301 00:17:21,839 --> 00:17:23,260 Come on, Eric, my son. 302 00:17:23,500 --> 00:17:24,740 Your best of order, please, gentlemen. 303 00:17:25,400 --> 00:17:26,400 Game on. 304 00:17:30,920 --> 00:17:31,920 Eleven. 305 00:17:46,560 --> 00:17:50,440 19. That's 36 for Eric the New Teasel. 306 00:17:50,900 --> 00:17:55,180 And the next archer from the village of Ambridge is... Gladys! 307 00:17:55,620 --> 00:17:57,480 Hey, man, how you doing? 308 00:17:57,800 --> 00:17:58,759 You seen Robin? 309 00:17:58,760 --> 00:18:00,960 Who? You know, Robin the Bighead. 310 00:18:01,200 --> 00:18:03,980 Robin the Twit. Robin the Totally Stupid. 311 00:18:04,540 --> 00:18:06,440 Never seen him before in me life. 312 00:18:06,700 --> 00:18:10,390 Yes, you have, Gladys, the top... Oh, one with a pimple problem who thinks 313 00:18:10,390 --> 00:18:13,750 so flash and brave, but is actually an incredible chicken. 314 00:18:14,010 --> 00:18:16,010 Oh, the incredible chicken. 315 00:18:16,450 --> 00:18:18,170 Ah, him over there. 316 00:18:18,770 --> 00:18:22,770 And now our final competitor, Robert the Incredible Chicken. 317 00:18:23,070 --> 00:18:24,330 Are you nervous, Robert? 318 00:18:24,630 --> 00:18:25,870 Oh, not really, Sheriff. 319 00:18:26,390 --> 00:18:27,890 Taking each arrow as it comes. 320 00:18:28,290 --> 00:18:32,790 I'm fit, I've worked hard, and it's just down to me now to go out there and, you 321 00:18:32,790 --> 00:18:33,789 know, get a result. 322 00:18:33,790 --> 00:18:35,070 So you're confident? 323 00:18:35,330 --> 00:18:36,550 Quietly confident, yes, Sheriff. 324 00:18:36,990 --> 00:18:40,950 So there we have it, Robert the Incredible Chicken, quietly confident 325 00:18:40,950 --> 00:18:46,130 attempts to beat today's high score of 46, set by Mad Clem the Totally Useless 326 00:18:46,130 --> 00:18:47,550 of Brixton Forest. 327 00:18:48,690 --> 00:18:53,410 And he's off. ...holding the arrows adjacent to the right ear, and that the 328 00:18:53,410 --> 00:18:55,850 glide of the arrows resting comfortably on the right palm. 329 00:19:06,830 --> 00:19:07,890 But, oh, God. 330 00:19:35,660 --> 00:19:40,620 consisting of one wormy biscuit and a glass of pond water. Oh, and not to 331 00:19:40,620 --> 00:19:42,720 mention the one year's free trial. 332 00:20:52,880 --> 00:20:53,880 Wait a minute. 333 00:20:54,220 --> 00:20:55,540 Of course. 334 00:20:56,060 --> 00:20:58,020 I congratulate you. 335 00:20:58,220 --> 00:20:59,280 Thank you very much. 336 00:20:59,620 --> 00:21:04,580 I said you'd come in disguise. I said you'd be the last person we'd expect. 337 00:21:04,920 --> 00:21:09,500 You were clever, but not quite clever enough, Robin Hood. 338 00:21:09,780 --> 00:21:10,780 Robin Hood? 339 00:21:10,880 --> 00:21:12,220 I'm not Robin Hood. 340 00:21:12,500 --> 00:21:15,920 You see, Robin, you made one small mistake. 341 00:21:24,490 --> 00:21:25,469 clever clog. 342 00:21:25,470 --> 00:21:30,710 I'd hate to return my prize so soon after winning it, but I'm prepared to 343 00:21:30,710 --> 00:21:32,270 the sacrifice if necessary. 344 00:21:32,810 --> 00:21:35,970 Guards, release that chicken or your king dies. 345 00:21:36,350 --> 00:21:39,510 And don't try anything fancy. You're surrounded. 346 00:21:40,430 --> 00:21:42,470 Little Ron, do try to concentrate. 347 00:21:44,130 --> 00:21:45,850 Thanks for the entertainment. 348 00:22:09,230 --> 00:22:10,230 dressed as a lady. 349 00:22:10,350 --> 00:22:15,070 Well, go and find him. And when you've found him, you know what to do. 350 00:22:15,650 --> 00:22:20,450 Right. He asked for it, didn't he? Right. So, give it to him. 351 00:22:21,770 --> 00:22:22,770 Oh, right. 352 00:22:26,110 --> 00:22:27,670 We've made it. Brilliant. 353 00:22:28,550 --> 00:22:30,310 Our first skirmish. 354 00:22:30,570 --> 00:22:33,830 Our first victory. And our first loot. 355 00:22:34,050 --> 00:22:36,610 This is the best an Elvis' dad had for ages. 356 00:22:37,010 --> 00:22:38,350 And what's more, we got... 357 00:22:40,010 --> 00:22:41,010 Gotcha, Robin. 358 00:22:41,270 --> 00:22:43,130 She's not Robin. I am. 359 00:22:43,430 --> 00:22:46,710 Gosh, you certainly are a master of disguise, aren't you? 360 00:22:46,930 --> 00:22:47,749 One tries. 361 00:22:47,750 --> 00:22:49,210 You asked for it, didn't you? 362 00:22:49,610 --> 00:22:53,110 Oh, dear. Did I? And I'm going to give it to you. Oh, no. 363 00:22:53,430 --> 00:22:57,290 And what's more, I'm going to give you his little water bowl as well and a 364 00:22:57,290 --> 00:22:59,390 little bone and some little tins of dog food. 365 00:22:59,770 --> 00:23:03,230 Pardon? And the elastic band that makes him bounce up and down. 366 00:23:03,890 --> 00:23:04,890 Here you are. 367 00:23:04,930 --> 00:23:06,910 It's all right. The sheriff told me to give it to you. 368 00:23:07,130 --> 00:23:08,550 I bet he did. 369 00:23:08,830 --> 00:23:11,260 Bye. Happy St. Elvis's Day. Bye. 370 00:23:11,580 --> 00:23:17,340 Oh, what a nice man that sheriff is. He's really, you know, what's the word? 371 00:23:17,720 --> 00:23:18,840 Don't ask, Robin. 372 00:23:19,060 --> 00:23:20,520 Just don't ask. 373 00:23:22,020 --> 00:23:23,020 Marion. 374 00:23:24,100 --> 00:23:29,880 Why don't you carry on with what you're doing? 375 00:23:30,380 --> 00:23:33,600 Oh, there's always trouble.